Barbecued Chickens

BudLiteGood morning, y’all. I am happy to report that we are high and dry here in Nunsuch. In fact, it’s been so long since we’ve seen a decent rain that Granny Waller’s predictions of another dust bowl are starting to sound eerily omniscient. I like that word, omniscient, it’s not something I’ve ever been accused of, so I feel obligated to use it a lot.

To support my contention of not being omniscient, I point out the near win by our Dawgs against the inbreds from Tennessee last week. I honestly thought that the Voluntarily married cousins would stomp a mudhole in our boys, and on our home field to boot. I feel that there was some sort of Divine intervention involved in having that game snatched from us. It seems that there was some sort of celestial force at play this week as well.

Hurricane Matthew, or a lack of foresight by several AD’s governors, etc., caused our game with the University of South Carolina to be played on Sunday instead of the scheduled time on Saturday. Who among us would not prefer to watch college games on Sunday as well as Saturday? There are no pro teams that can hold my attention when compared to any college game, most especially the Falcons. Besides, barbecued chicken tastes just as good on Sunday as it does on Saturday, maybe even better.

The game was billed as a match up of two old teammates, and rightly so. Kirby Smart and Will Muschamp are both former Dawgs, and so, I will have to hold in abeyance my usual deep personal affronts on the opposing coach. Let me just say that when Muschamp started to spontaneously bleed on the sidelines, it looked like the first time all day that the Chickens had drawn blood.

I don’t think Muschamp had gone all Erk Russell on one of his players to try to motivate them, I just think maybe he cut himself shaving at halftime. You know how some guys like to look really nice for their thirty second half time interview with the TV hottie. Maybe Will just cut a little too deep.

What didn’t cut too deep was the Chickens vaunted defense. The Dawgs ran for a hundred miles and had it not been for the need to get Jacob Eason’s arm loose for next week’s practice, they would have run for a hundred miles more. Jacob seemed to show the signs of early arthritis, but, it could have been the remnant winds of Hurricane Matthew. For whatever reason, the Georgia quarterback had a hard time Sunday. That is a trend he will have to overcome in three years.

Fortunately Chubb and his boys came to play. The ground game accumulated three hundred and twenty-six yards in rushing. A nice day’s work. Also having a good day was the defense, who gathered up three turnovers from the birds and played a very good game strategically.

Speaking of strategies, we can always second guess the coach’s use of timeouts and tactics. Coach Smart is clearly learning on the job, but he does appear to be learning, so we’ll reserve comment.

Some others that are clearly learning on the job are the officials. I hope this week someone higher up will teach them what an interception looks like, and how to call it. Also how to not call a touchdown until the ball has actually broken the plane of the goal line. It’s the little things that mean so much.

Next up,the Vanities.

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