Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don’t

BudLiteGood morning, y’all. At the risk of being redundant, my “word” for the day, I would like to point out once again that if there is a more beautiful space on earth than the North Georgia mountains in the Fall, I don’t want to hear about it. I’d probably call you a “prevaricator”, yesterday’s word for the day. I am becoming quite the erudite fool, am I not? Maybe watching TV 24-7 is not a good idea after all. Who knew?

I do manage to get to keep up with my sports networks though. Now that they have added an SEC network you’d think I’d be back in pig heaven 24-7. Not so, Razorback breath. I’d watch 24-7 if they could make one small change, nuke the host. That Paul Finebaum fellow is so unnerving to watch it’s hard to concentrate on what he’s saying. I swear to God; when I’m watching him I think any second that a second set of chrome teeth is going to extend from his mouth dripping primordial saliva all over the floor before he bores into Tim Tebow. You know, like the Alien and Sigourney Weaver in the Alien movies. Now, taking out Tim Tebow would lift the IQ of the show by about 100 points, and the death scene would be “must see TV”, but we’d still be left with Finebaum and his call in guests.

If you’re unfamiliar with the show, Finebaum’s guests are circling somewhere near the drain in the genetic pool. They’re about one more generation from Evolution saying, “that’s it, you’ve done enough damage to the collective, from here on out you’re shooting blanks”. That’s how I know evolution works, eventually some family trees just stop growing branches and they fall over from root rot. The lucky ones distinguish themselves by getting named in the Darwin Awards first, but either way, it’s the end of the line. I expect one day to wake up and the entire state of Alabama to be gone. You know, like “The Rapture”, the houses are still there, there’s just nobody in them. I expect when Finebaum loses his base, they’ll have to replace him.

Anyway, I was watching ESPN and they were running this story about two high school football players taking out the referee in their game. If you haven’t watched it, it’s here.
The tape is pretty self explanatory. One defensive back hits the ref so hard from the back that he loses his hat and unleashes his ponytail. The other defensive back spears the ref on the ground when he falls. A pretty clear cut case of assault, we think. As events unfolds, we learn that the referee has been using racial slurs throughout the game to describe the defensive team. The referee has even ejected a player under very questionable circumstances. The mood was tense, to say the least. Then we find out that the “adult in the room”, the coach, had ordered the hit. Now we have blame and culpability spread all over everything.

In defense of the boys, and it is a slim one, let me say that when you are a high school football player, your coach is your God. Any perceived indication that the player is not “totally dedicated to the program” could result in the player being demoted to the bench. Benched players don’t get college scholarships, and so the dreams of some less fortunate children can be curtailed by a vindictive coach. That said, the boys knew what they were being asked to do was wrong. Carrying out the coaches wishes will probably have the same results on their college scholarship options as following his orders. A very sad situation for all concerned. The coach has resigned. The referee is being investigated, the players served a suspension but not an expulsion.

Somewhere in Alabama, Finebaum fan, Phylis from Mulga, sends in the names of the miscreant players to the Auburn defensive coordinator for special recruitment consideration.

Download PDF

Leave a Reply