The Kardashian Kaper

If you have read any of my previous posts on the matter, I think the Kardashians are a blight on society. To wit: Blight: a plant disease, especially one caused by fungi such as mildews, rusts, and smuts. They contribute nothing and leech their existence from contributing members of society.

The queen of blight, Kris Kardashian Jenner, parlayed her role of wife to famous attorney Robert Kardashian into a media empire that promoted her talent-less kids to some sort of celebrity. Perhaps talent-less is too harsh. A couple of them have made sex tapes that have posted over a million views, so I guess in the porn world, they have established their chops.

Otherwise, I’m not seeing anything that we would traditionally call talent. Singing, dancing, playing an instrument, writing a book, none of the above. They are “celebrities” because the queen of blight has spent millions on advertising the children’s names in every spot imaginable.

Can anyone stand in line in the checkout without reviewing two or three articles about the talent-less kids? Most all of which involve the compelling question, “Does this dress make Kim’s butt look big?” Again, “Yes”, I say. They all make her butt look big. She’s got a big butt!

Now we are confronted with the news that some robbers in Paris locked Kim’s big butt up in a bathroom and stole over ten million dollars worth of jewelry, and two cellphones. I fear the most distressing news here is the loss of the cellphones. They will undoubtedly contain hours and hours of sex tapes that the public will have to endure.

I’m sure that the cellphones will provide more media fodder than the story of the robbery. Those cellphones will be worth in advertising what ever the amount of the stolen jewelry totaled, if any jewelry was actually taken.

An aside to the story is how many robbers it took to get Kim’s big butt locked up in the bathroom. Accounts vary from two to five, with Kim reportedly complying the whole time and begging for her life. The French are notorious for making small narrow doors, so I can see the issue of trying to squeezing a hundred pounds of potatoes into a ten pound sack.

Looking at the positive side of the event, the news has taken the Donald off of the front page for a moment, and returned the Kardashians to their rightful place at the top of the sleaze headlines. Kudos, queen of blight, another marketing slam dunk.

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