Good morning, y’all. I feel like I just clean up from one Republican Debate Potluck dinner before I’m setting up for another one. I am at least encouraged that the turnout has diminished somewhat over the last couple of months. It could be the cold, it could be a premonition of buyer’s remorse. It is hard for me to cipher the minds of other folks. I spend enough time asking, “what was I thinking?”
Anyway, the food was good. I took the opportunity to let the Colonel do my cooking for me. They’ve been running unreal specials over at the Kentucky Fried in Blairsville this week, so I sent Mulva over to pick up five buckets of original recipe. Original recipe is my favorite, and if we had any leftovers I wanted to be able to grab a few pieces for myself before Alva Bread absconded with the balance. I figure the trip to the Colonel saved me about $40 over cooking a couple of pork butts on the Big Green Egg. Saving money and not being in and out of the cold all day was a big win for me. I was almost satisfied enough to overlook the abomination on the big screen. Almost.
The one area that the Republicans never disappoint is abominations. While eliminating some of the bottom feeders this round, Mike Huckabee and Rand Paul, the Republicans threw caution to the winds and also jettisoned their only female candidate. Now, if I’m truthful, I’ll miss Carly Fiorina like a long, slow, root canal without Novocaine. But Carly was the only Republican on the stage that could challenge Hillary Clinton to a cage match and not come across as misogynistic. Just barely though. The fact that Carly really did seem to want to get “physical” with Hillary was an interesting sideshow to the other misrepresentation of facts that she presented. Turns out the fake Planned Parenthood sting tapes were proven fake in a court of law, and now the fakers are in trouble. Without the ability to screech about selling unborn baby parts, Carly did not have a platform. Maybe the Republican hierarchy decided to cut Carly before she did too much more damage.
Anyway, I guess we do need to talk about who was there on stage and not just the outcasts. The pundits seem to think it was time for the three governors to shine, particularly if they were going to keep Marco Rubio from being the default “old guard” candidate. Two of them did, Chris Christie and John Kasich. The Jebber looked like he was trying to jump in, but he couldn’t gain traction. Poor Jeb, he’s like the rich kid that always gets picked last. Looks like training he got at home. Anyway, here’s my takeaways:
The Donald – Continued to bully his way through any challenge, avoided any straight answer with the patented, “I make deals”, “it will be the best”, “You’ve never seen anything like the prosperity I’ll bring”, “Obama is clueless”. It’s like watching Henny Youngman, once you’ve seen his act, there’s no need to come back. You’ve seen it all.
Ben Carson – zzzzzzzzzz. “Oh, is it my turn? I thought I was here just to be pretty, I predict the team with the most points will win the Super Bowl” I wish someone would publish a CAT scan of his brain. I’d really like to know what’s going on there.
Ted Cruz – has an addict in his family. Whoop-ti-do-do. He took a light hit for Carson regarding his campaign tactics, and passed on the opportunity to apologize. Having your finger on the button means never having to say you’re sorry, I guess.
Marco Rubio – the establishment choice. Everything, and I mean everything, about this guy is wrong. If I had a choice between my dog Butts, and Rubio, I’d vote Butts. Butts is definitely more considerate of his fellow man and has a much better grasp of the issues. Butts also knows when to shut up, and doesn’t blame Obama for his misdeeds.
Jeb Bush – surely this is his last rodeo. He attempted to go after The Donald over imminent domain and was shouted down. When The Jebber tried to defend himself, The Donald held his finger up to his lips and told Jeb to shush. Now, if the Jebber was a true Texan, he would have snatched The Donald bald at that point, but, it was not to be.
Chris Christie – if he were a more attractive candidate, would he be a more attractive candidate? I think so. He talks sense, he tried to get Rubio off of his “it’s all Obama’s fault” jag, and generally provided reasonable answers to the questions posed to him. I think he’s gone after the next primaries.
John Kasich – a nice guy, seems to be a “compassionate conservative”, and talks sense. Clearly he caught the wrong bus. He meant to get on the one called “Debates”, not “Babble”. He may survive until Super Tuesday.
Well there it is folks, same song, second verse, wish it was better, but it will probably be worse.