Take My Wife, Please

BudLiteGood morning, y’all. A perfect day here in the mountains. So perfect in fact that Mulva and I decided to stretch our bones a little bit by doing a little hiking over at Cloudland Canyon. It’s about two hours and a half whichever way you go from here, so we decided to make a day of it. This is definitely picnic weather and we were well prepared. It’s still chilly enough at night to keep the bugs and ants in abeyance, so the conditions were perfect.

We took the Southerly route via Hwy 76 going and the Northerly route via Hwy 74 and 19 returning. It was fun to get out and motor through my old “stomping grounds” again. I can’t say that the area has changed any at all in the last year, and that’s a good thing. I think humans need a certain amount of consistency in their lives to be able to keep their heads on straight. I know that there’s supposed to be people who “thrive on conflict”, but I suspect that they might not be the most mentally healthy people in our group. Maybe constant conflict is their consistency, but I suspect not. I’m betting at the end of the day these folks go home and stare at a lava light or something that gives them comfort.

After we got back home from a “mellow day”, and that’s a Johnny Cash reference there, I discovered that “Twitter” must be The Donald’s lava lamp. I’m sure that the rigors of the campaign must require some diversion for The Donald to get back to his “center”. A lot of politicians, most notably “W”, use video games to “flush their brains”. It appears that The Donald uses Twitter as his outlet to relieve his stress. Sadly, it seems that in The Donald’s case, the comparison is more to a toilet overflowing than flushing. After all, flushing is a controlled event with predictable outcomes. What spews forth from The Donald’s brain is more like a waste treatment center after two weeks of non-stop rain. It just overflows uncontrollably, tainting everything in its path.

So while The Donald was “decompressing”, he decided to “nanny nanny” Ted Cruz with a “my wife is prettier than yours” Tweet. One would presume that if it was one’s practice to recycle beauty pageant winners as wives, then The Donald had nothing to fear from making his boast. Based on the pictures posted, The Donald’s 45 year old wife, Melania, does look better than Cruz’s 43 year old wife, Heidi. While not unattractive, we can presume that Cruz’s marital selection was for something other than a beauty queen. Maybe Cruz selected Heidi for these “beans” that The Donald is threatening to spill if Cruz doesn’t bow to The Donald.

Turns out, while Melania was learning how to strut her stuff on a catwalk, Heidi was learning how to separate people from their money. Since 2005 Heidi has been an investment manager at Goldman Sachs. Before that, Heidi had a brief sojourn with J.P. Morgan after leaving the Bush administration. Heidi was the policy advisor to the “W’s” 2000 presidential campaign and later worked in his administration as an “economic advisor”. Somehow, someway, Heidi got herself appointed director for the Western Hemisphere on the National Security Council. So, I guess I’m a little confused here, is Heidi a “spook” or an economist? Did Heidi get appointed to “spook” after designing the plan to unravel our economy? Are these the “beans” that The Donald is threatening to spill?” Well, I sure hope he spills them. I’d much rather the race be about substance than looks.

The Cruz has used harsh words to get The Donald to leave Heidi, “the hell out of it”. I suspect that the backlash he’ll get from the Bible thumpers for cursing will be offset by the tingle they’ll get for standing up for their womenfolk. I do think this would be the best way for the Repubs to settle on their candidate. The Donald and The Cruz in a cage match, no holds barred, no timeouts, winner take all. Heidi and Melania could act as ring girls carrying the round cards. There would have to be a guaranteed two round minimum, though. We wouldn’t want either wife to feel slighted.

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